I wish I could teleport
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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