I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
