hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
