the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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