I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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