This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize