Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize