I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
