So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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