Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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