we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
