you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
