and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i permit you to call me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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