he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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