you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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