It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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