Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
