all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
