Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
