i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize