Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Do vagina's smell?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
