she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
