I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
