Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
