i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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