a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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