if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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