Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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