I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
