seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
