all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
