Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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