Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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