walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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