is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
