that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
