Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
