it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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