I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
