is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
