Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
