We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
