Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
