If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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