I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize