Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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