do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
