Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I am available for nakedness
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
