whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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