I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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