do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I need moral support for this bender
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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