Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize