i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
