I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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