I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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