So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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