I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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