yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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