In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
