The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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