he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
4 words: hood of his car
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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